What is parenting exactly? Parenting is satisfying a kid's needs at every stage they grow, carrying out duties and providing a child with assistance from the day they are born until they are a self-sufficient adult. Parenting is caring for a child even if you are not their parent, giving them a healthy place to grow up and working to make sure they develop intellectually and socially the way you think is right. It is also about making sure the family has money to live comfortably which is not the same as being rich. Parenting means changing the way you do things as your child grows and needs things.
These thoughts about parenting are helpful and true. They can help people understand what parenting is about. However some people think that parenting is about following a list of rules and checking things off. This is not entirely true. Parenting is more than doing things a certain way. It is about teaching and guiding your child. The importance of parenting to parents is something to think about.
The first principle of parenting is relationship:
The relationship between a child and their parents is very important. It sets the stage for all the relationships they will have in their life. When parents and kids have a bond it helps kids feel good about themselves, be independent and be curious. Good relationships between parents and kids are necessary because they help kids grow, learn and have relationships with other people. If you show your child love, spend quality time with them. Listen to what they say your relationship with them can get stronger. Building trust between a parent and child is extremely important because it makes a child feel safe and want to try things.
How a parent-child connection might develop:
2. You can also make your kid laugh with jokes: This shows them that talking to parents can be fun. Kids should respect you. You can also have fun and joke around with them. Having fun can make a difference in your kids life and create happy memories that they will remember when they are grown up. When you play with your kid you can make silly faces or noises especially when you are eating. With kids you can be more creative and make jokes or play tricks on them if they like it. It is an idea to set aside time for your family to be together. This helps make your family closer and shows your kids that you care about each of them.
3. Build family time into your routine so it actually happens: Plan fun things to do with your kids that they will all like. Eating dinner together is a way to spend time as a family. Put your phones away, sit at the table and talk about what happened that day. You can also take your family to fun places like the zoo, museum, movies or sports games.
4. It is also important to give each kid some time to themselves. This helps you get to know each kid and makes them feel special. If you have a lot of kids try to spend time with each one so you can learn about their interests and talents. Choose something you can do together that you will both like. You can take one kid fishing. Help another kid with their piano lessons, on the weekends. You can also schedule time with each kid like going for a walk or watching a movie so you can spend time together just the two of you.
5. Keep in touch and be reachable: You should show your child that devices are not that important by turning them off. Lots of kids these days are really into technology. Most adults use devices like TVs, phones and tablets a lot. So when you are going to spend time with your child, put your technology away. This way your child will not think that you are distracted. Put it in your bedroom before you spend time with your child. This shows your child that you want to be with them and you are not interested in being distracted. If you do this it will be easier to ask your child to put away their electronics. You do not have to do this all the time, just a little bit of time each week is good. For example you can have dinner together one evening a week without the TV and phones.
6. Work with them to establish rules and restrictions: Kids need structure to grow and develop. They need rules and guidance to know what to do. When kids act out you should stay calm and set a good example. Make sure your child knows what you expect from them, what the rules are and what happens if they break the rules. You should also make sure the punishment fits the crime and do not punish your child much. When your child misbehaves, talk to them in a calm way. Do not yell at them, just explain the rule they broke and the consequences. When they do something, give them praise.
7. Go about their business: You should pay attention to what your child is doing like their schoolwork, friends and activities. To have a relationship with your child you need to do more than just say "good morning" and "good night". Try to learn about their life and get to know them even if you are busy. You can do things like coach their softball team, volunteer at school or meet with their teacher to talk about their schoolwork. You can also help them with their homework. Practice their lines for the school play. If you have them over you can talk to them. Get to know their friends. Sometimes it is easier to talk to them when you are doing something together like driving or baking.
8. Assert your dependability to them: It is very important for kids to trust their parents. If you promise something you should keep it. This helps your child feel safe. It creates a bond that makes your child feel safe with you. Honor your child's privacy just as you want yours honored
9. Keep their secrets. If you do this your child will trust you more. Allowing your child to make some decisions and giving them the benefit of the doubt shows that you trust them.
10. Be mindful of them and demonstrate compassion: If you listen to your child and pay attention to what they say you can build a relationship with them. Even if they are talking about the thing over and over you should give them your full attention. If you listen to your child they will feel important and valued. Try to see things through their eyes and let them know you care. When you talkto your child, just focus on them. Do not do anything else. Look at them and make eye contact. Listen without judging them. After they finish talking you can summarize what they said. This shows that you are listening and that you care about what they're saying.
11. Express sympathy and love to them: Touch and affection are important for kids to grow and develop emotionally. You can show your child that you care by hugging them, holding their hand or giving them a touch on the back. This makes them feel safe and loved. When you talk to your child you should be positive and happy to see them. Smile, make eye contact and be open and relaxed. This shows that you are happy to see them and that you care about them.
12. Showing someone you care every day: Kids need to know that you love them no matter what. You should tell your child that you love them every day. This makes them feel loved and safe. Even when your child is misbehaving you should tell them that you love them. You should try to have positive interactions with your child rather than negative ones. For example if you had a fight you can do five things for your child like hugging them, telling them you love them or praising them for something.
13. Honor your child's uniqueness: If you accept them for who they are, your child may feel encouraged to share things with you. Is your child into reading? Ask them to tell you all about their book. You can even take them to the library to pick out their book. Does your child play sports? Ask them about their team or watch them play. Showing interest in what your child's doing will make them feel more comfortable talking to you. This is true even if you do not like the things your child's into. It is good to let your child know that you think their interests are important even if you do not like them yourself. For example if your child loves video games try talking to them about the game they are playing.. You can play their favorite board game together. These things are important to your child.
14. Give your child more say in what happens: Let them help make decisions to show that you value what they think. Some parents do not let their kids have a say in things. They just make all the decisions for them. If you ask your child what they think they will feel more in charge and confident. After your child makes a decision make sure to follow through on it. This shows that you respect what they think. For example you can ask your child what they want to wear or do that day. As your child gets older you can ask them for advice on things like what to have for dinner or where to go on vacation. You can say things like "what do you think we should do for movie night this weekend?". Where do you want to go for summer vacation?"
15. Let your child help you with things: When your child helps you it builds trust and respect. It can be easier to do things by yourself. Having your child help can be good for your relationship. Try it out. When you work together you can. Get to know each other better. You can even have fun together. For example you can ask your child to help you plant a garden. While you work together you can. Have fun. Your child might even start to like gardening and want to learn more about it.
16. Encourage your child to be independent. When your child feels safe and comfortable with you they will be more likely to try things. Be there for your child. Give them more responsibilities as they get older. This will help them feel more confident. For example you can teach your child how to do their laundry. This will help them be ready for when they go to college. You can also teach your child how to talk to a teacher if they think a grade is unfair.. You can teach them how to deal with a mean classmate. As your child gets older you can give them responsibilities and help them learn new skills.
TAKE-HOME: As your child gets older you should change the rules. Give your child freedom to show that you trust them. As kids get older they need independence. So you should think about changing the rules and boundaries you have set.
For example a fifteen-year-old is not going to follow the rules as a three-year-old. If your child breaks the rules there should be consequences.. You should also talk to your child about the rules and listen to what they think. You can say things like "you have been doing a job getting home by 9 pm. Lets make your curfew 10 pm now that you are older."
Get to know your child as an individual. As your child gets older you can. Be yourself around them. You do not always have to be a parent. Sharing stories with your child can help them learn important lessons and feel closer to you.
For example if you were bullied in school you can tell your child about it. You can tell them how you dealt with it and what you learned. If your child is being bullied they might learn something from your experience and respect you more.